wileypeter | My Happy Day.

1) If you're painting a room, it's best to take the door off the hinges and paint it separately.

2) Failing this, all door hardware ought to be removed.

3) If the latch portion won't come out after the knobs are removed, care should be taken to tape the latch flat against the door.

4) In the off chance you need to paint the portion of the door adjacent to the latch, remember to retape the latch.

5) If you fail to retape the latch, don't paint the back of the door.

6) If by some chance you fail to retape the latch and decide to paint the back of the door, be sure to block the door from closing.

7) If you're bound and determined to lock yourself into the freshly-painted, headache-inducing room, be sure you do it when someone else is home.

8) If you insist upon performing all of these rewarding tasks when home alone, it's a good idea to have brought any one of the many cordless phones, or maybe a cell phone, into the room with you.

9) If you have no phone and are locked into a freshly painted room, you can use the passing tracks of music on the CD player outside the room to gauge the roughly fifteen minutes it takes you to use a wingnut you found in the closet to gradually wedge the latch mechanism to an open position.

To top it off, the dog barfed, which nearly induced the same action in my wife.

Having cleaned up the mess I managed to gouge my ankle with the corner of another door.

Then he pooped indoors, further worsening the situation with the wife.

Once the various scents cleared and life seemed to settle down, I decided to attend to my teeth and gums. The floss got caught between two molars and, of course, I popped a chunk of filling loose.

Lovely.